Car Gazing
By Derek Price
Only Mercedes-Benz can mix Star Trek with U-Haul, then charge $73,000 for
the result.
Mercedes' latest entry in America's hot SUV market is a rugged, high-tech,
go-anywhere, haul-anything vehicle that can impress just as well at the
country club as it can on the Rubicon Trail.
Called the G500 here in the 'States, Mercedes thinks a few rich folks will
pay that hefty price to own a highly capable SUV with the great lines and
stunning aerodynamics of a Kleenex box.
Although it's new in America, this relic of the Cold War has been around
since 1979. It's seen military, industrial and police use on some of the
roughest roads in the world, and it's been refined over 23 years of hard
work. That refinement resulted in a strange juxtaposition of technology,
luxury and pure brawn.
Outside, the G500 is nothing but business, with the same plain body penned
in the '70s. Straight lines are everywhere, from the snipped-off,
right-angle corners to the industrial-grade, perfectly flat body panels and
windows. The windshield looks like it was cut from a patio door.
That attention-getting (make that attention-demanding) style attracted more
than its share of funny looks during drives around town. Everybody wanted to
know what the boxy Mercedes truck was called and how much it cost.
"It looks like a giant Volkswagen Thing," one person said. Another called it
a "German Hummer."
Inside, it's a different beast. Although it has an ugly, 1980s-style dash,
there are elegant S-class touches like tasteful wood trim, dual-zone climate
control and supple leather seats.
It also has an overly-complicated system that controls the radio, climate
control, on-board phone and navigation system with a colorful in-dash
display just like other high-end Mercedes models. It's surrounded by dozens
of buttons to operate the various devices.
Three of those buttons are found on no other vehicle in America. With the
flick of a finger, the driver can lock the front, center and rear
differentials independently for serious off-roading and rock climbing. It's
something few drivers will actually use, but it's great for bragging on the
golf course.
Powering the German monster is a 5.0-liter V8 that makes 292 horsepower and
336 foot-pounds of torque. It's the same smooth, torquey engine in the
S-class, and it's great for effortlessly climbing hills and crossing
creekbeds on treks to lumberjack land.
Incredible off-road prowess – including 8.3 inches of center ground
clearance and the ability to climb near-vertical slopes – means there will
be tradeoffs in everyday driving. It feels bouncy, unrefined and stiff on
streets, something to consider if you plan to use it as a commuter vehicle.
It's not designed for driving on the road, and it doesn't have good road
manners.
If the G500 cost $30,000, it would be trashed in the automotive press for
its awful ride, ugly styling and 1980s interior. But, it's not a $30,000 SUV
– it's a $73,000 Mercedes SUV, and people will buy it for different
reasons, like off-road performance and supreme exclusivity.
If you want that, buy it and enjoy it. Otherwise, just imagine what Captain
Kirk would use to haul his stuff – that's the G500.
(Derek Price is a newspaper editor and freelance writer living in Texas.
Contact him at dprice@cargazingonline.com)
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